Totem Guidance

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Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Divine

Through the magic of mirroring, the message has been all around me this week though I’ve been trying to avoid it to some extent. It popped up in a meditation of mine, Rabbit came through to tell me that it was time to post about him on my Facebook page, it showed up in several readings that I’ve done for others, and then it came through in the group reading that I did for the week. Humph! It’s time to listen.

The thing is that I have been really anxious this week, along with all the others that I’ve been interacting with, and there’s been a part of me that hasn’t wanted to let go of the drama of my emotions. And so I sort of watched myself slide downhill this week until ultimately I ended up feeling lonely and isolated last night. Fortunately I had the clarity to reach out to a friend and I was able to climb out of it, but the truth of the matter is that Spirit was giving me the solution all along; I just didn’t want to listen.

Worry is an energetic vibration that drags us down. It places our attention in the future and makes it impossible for us to be in the present. Being in the moment is an essential part of spiritual and emotional health and it is the only place where we can create our reality and manifest our dreams. When we want something, the worst thing that we can do to attain it is to worry about it. This causes us to attract only more of the events that are troubling us into our lives.

The answer is to change our vibration. Sometimes this can be challenging, but one simple yet extremely effective tool we can use to accomplish this is to engage in a creative activity. When we create, we express the Divine through ourselves – we actually act out our own divinity. We become centered and grounded in the activity and we bring something that begins as a thought into physicality. There is no greater task for us to accomplish and doing this on a small scale can help us to be able to do it on a large scale. It allows for our perspectives and our emotions to shift, and it opens our eyes to the possibilities. It activates our imaginations, hones our manifestation skills, and keeps us in a higher vibrational state. If we can add joy to the process, even better!

Many of us have been taught to deny our creative impulses or were discouraged because we felt that we weren’t good enough. For the purposes of this lesson, degree of skill is inconsequential (and there is no way to improve something if you don’t work with it, right?), and the possibilities are endless. The creative process is all around us and it does include something that you are good at doing. We have been shown that creativity equals art, but that is extremely limiting to the creative process. Cooking, baking, gardening, and playing are no less creative than painting or writing. The point is to get out of self-defeating energy patterns and to engage in the process of bringing something to life. The act of birthing is never short of beautiful.

Photo by Chris Metcalf, Flickr

Photo by Chris Metcalf, Flickr


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Weekly Card Reading July 29 – Aug 4, 2013: Relieve Anxiety With Creativity

We have a very interesting and complex reading this week as we seem to be struggling within ourselves. Unlike our usual reading in which we have a card for each part of the week, I felt drawn to pull four cards that seem to have relevance to the first and second halves of the week. It’s as though the angels are giving us a preview of our options: it can either be this way or it can be that way – you choose!



We have been allowing in old thought patterns, knowing that it’s not the way that we want to think or act, but not knowing how to unravel that aspect of ourselves. The Temptation card shows us that we have been giving a lot of attention to these negative aspects instead of working on creating harmony within our being. Our angels want us to know that Spiritual Union is within us! This card often represents relationships with others, but in this spread it is all about loving, respecting, and caring for ourselves. It reminds us of our infinite selves and our connection to the Divine and it asks us to step into our creativity so that we can shine. By turning away from our temptations, which right now are patterns of thought that hinder us, we are able to step into our creative, limitless, divine selves. The choice is ours and it is always available to us. We need to move away from our personal drama into a sincere and pure connection with ourselves.


We have two potential outcomes, almost entirely dependent upon the course of action that we take at the beginning of the week. If we continue to fret and worry about what we don’t have or what we can’t seem to procure, we will remain locked in a dark and isolated cell, Trapped in Fear. All of these machinations are a product of our overworking analytic brains. Moreover, all this thinking has made our heads hurt and is causing us to feel despondent and confused. The solution is to step into the present moment and to connect with our creative selves. Doing so opens up the flow of energy and allows goodness and light to enter. Should we choose this path, our week will end happily and we will Rejoice in Celebration. Again we have the image of a cup – a symbol of life energy, creation, and abundance and we are able to raise it up to toast a job well done. We are surrounded by orbs of light – this is our heavenly support team. We are always supported in everything that we do, but when we choose to shine and stay true to our higher selves, they can shine right along with us.

The cards are asking us to stay on course with our paths and to hold true to our higher selves. As Yoda would say, we must not be seduced by the dark side. Remember that fear and anger (at times masquerading as worry and anxiety) have the power to strip us down. Acknowledge your fear and instead of remaining in it, choose a constructive and creative outlet for your energies and then allow the celebration to begin!

This week I used John Holland’s Psychic Tarot, one of my favorite decks to work with. The cards can be direct and to the point, but they are also gentle and full of love.

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Weekly Card Reading July 22-28, 2013: Release, Connect, Reflect

Let It Go

Quan Yin comes to us at the beginning of the week with the message to “Let It Go!” I added the exclamation point because it feels to me that whatever it is that you’ve been holding onto is starting to pull you down. It is time. I’m sensing that for some of us, this is manifesting in something physical, such as holding onto a relationship too tightly out of fear, and for others it is more emotional in the sense that there needs to be some forgiveness or compassion around a person or situation. Quan Yin is the Buddhist goddess of compassion, and she can help you to achieve this if you call on her. She is asking you to open your heart so that you may be free of this bond that is preventing you from living more freely and joyfully.

You are Seeing This Situation Accurately

The resolution to release these heavy energies in the beginning of the week will bring you lightness and clarity, allowing you to connect more clearly with your intuition. As we roll into Wednesday, know that “You Are Seeing This Situation Accurately.” Now that you have cleansed away the emotions that were clouding your judgment, you can truly tap into and trust your intuition. This card is all about believing in yourself and what you see. The lunar energy combined with the third eye and the Egyptian god Horus remind us that we hold the truth within and that not only are we are capable of recognizing it, but also that we have to be willing to act according to it. Creating trust in our intuitive senses generates even greater insight. Once you acknowledge the veracity of your vision/knowing, you will most likely need to initiate some change with respect to the situation or person.

Meditate Card

It is important to take time to reflect before acting. We have the gentle reminder from Quan Yin for Monday and Tuesday to remain compassionate and forgiving towards that which we let go, and Buddha reminds us as we step into our weekend to “Meditate” and not act rashly. As we shed our resentments and release our fears, we are able to see clearly how we have been affected by others in our lives. It can be tempting to act hastily and jump away from a situation. Buddha wants us to take the time to meditate on our actions. This is not to say that we shouldn’t leave behind situations and/or people that have been hurting us or hindering us, but it is a reminder to reflect on the best way to do so, so that we can do it without hurting another and without regrets. I am also feeling that taking the time to connect with yourself at the end of the week will bring completion and peace to the hard work done earlier in the week. Give yourself some time to rest and rejuvenate. Recharging yourself in this way will help you to maintain balance and inner peace.

I used Doreen Virtue’s Ascended Masters oracle cards this week for their gentle and to the point guidance. This deck is a wonderful way to work with the energies of the ascended masters, who are powerful guides that can help us to create meaningful and lasting change in our lives.

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Folding Fear into Faith

I used to be the biggest scaredy-cat. Very simple tasks were often overwhelming for me and this led to a sort of paralysis in most aspects of my life. Piles of mail would remain unopened because I was afraid of what might lurk inside. Phone calls were usually held off until the last minute or even past the last minute. There was this heavy, sticky energy that surrounded me most of the time, but I couldn’t clear it because the fear was my constant companion.  The irony is that I’d grown so accustomed to the fear that I was afraid to get rid of it.

I borrowed courage sometimes when I drank or took drugs and because of that it was easy to fool myself into believing that I wasn’t really scared. This bravado carried me through a good twenty years of engaging in ridiculously dangerous activities that should have gotten me killed while avoiding the day-to-day tasks that could have actually made my life sincerely, authentically enjoyable.

The major side-effect of all of this fear was that it kept me disconnected from me. I had no idea who I was. I knew who I pretended to be and I knew who I wanted to be. I could hear a voice whispering inside of me, but I couldn’t make out the words. I continued to just sort of drift along in my life, thinking that I was “figuring things out” when actually I was running all over the world trying to simultaneously find myself and escape from myself.

A huge shift occurred about 10 months ago. There had been many little shifts leading up to it as over the past several years I struggled to understand why my life wasn’t working the way that I wanted it to. A huge “stuckness” had fallen over me as my youth slipped into my past and I was still doing the same things I had been doing just because I had been doing them and not because I really wanted to be doing them. I began to up my healing work and I began to really dip down into my being. It took several years to do this as I tiptoed through my pain, looking at each little piece of it, opting to clear some while rigidly holding onto others. What finally happened is that the pain of staying where I was – knowing that I was not being true to myself – finally became too intense. I was tired of scurrying and ready to leap.

I attended a Jennifer Pastiloff workshop last year, something that I highly recommend for any of you feeling fear of any sort. She works a lot with clearing fear so that you can manifest the life that you truly want. It’s about letting go and forgiving yourself and others so that you can fully express yourself and your joy. Powerful stuff. I realized that by continuing to live the way that I was living, I was only going to experience more of the same. I understood for the first time that if I wanted change, I was going to have to change. This seems so simple, but I had spent years trying to find any loophole in this axiom so that I could avoid really showing the world who I was. I was too afraid that people wouldn’t like me if they really knew me. (If they didn’t like the “me” that I projected to the world, I felt that was somehow safer.)

Immediately following that epiphany, I made one of the most courageous decisions of my life. I vowed that I would do something every single day that scared me. Initially I was able to uphold this. I was afraid of so much that I had material to last for several months. During this time, I noticed something amazing: Nothing catastrophic happened. In fact, really good things started to happen. As I made the connection between the world not falling out from under me and me creating meaningful changes in my life, I began to really and truly experience faith on a deep level for the first time ever. I was finally able to stop caring what other people thought of me, and I was able to rest in the truth that those on the same path as me would find me. I just knew that I would be supported. Now, my experience of fear is completely different. Not only do I not live in fear, but when I feel it in my body, I acknowledge it and then move through it.

As I have let go of my fears and expectations of how the outcome should be/needs to be, I have learned that there is freedom in life to be who I want to be and to pursue the dreams I want to manifest. The people that I love sometimes give me that little look like, “Aw, isn’t she cute! She believes in healing and angels and Spirit and psychic mumbo jumbo” but they still love me. And it’s okay if they don’t believe in it. I have found a community that does and I am helping people to heal. As a result, my life is richer and fuller and I experience much more joy and abundance. In the end, that is all that matters.


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Weekly Card Reading July 15-21: Prepare for the Magic!

Last week showed us welcoming new opportunities into our lives that it’s time to tend to. This is further developed this week as we jump into a time of reflection and spiritual connection. I used John Holland’s Psychic Tarot for this reading, and I’m struck again by the beauty of the cards and the message this week.

The Waiting Game

We start the week with The Waiting Game. All that you have been working for has grown roots and sprouted leaves. You have put in the time and energy to bring our dreams to life, and if you’ve followed last week’s advice, you’ve even committed to doing a little more study with respect to these opportunities. It may seem frustrating now that you have to wait longer, but try not to be discouraged. The number two is all about choices and a balancing of dualities. In the past you were afraid to choose what felt right in your heart, but no more! It is important to keep the faith right now – Spirit is moving with and through you and this power will propel you forward as the right elements all fall into place.


In fact, Spirit is all over these cards this week. Violet circles the first card (though it showed up as blue in the picture) and it is illuminating the other two. The Cosmos is represented as well as you tap into your connection with the All that Is. This is all about uniting with Spirit and trusting that only the best is unfolding for you. This is a time for introspection and connection as you await the manifestation of your dreams. The Awareness card tells you to dig in deep and recall that you possess everything you need to move along your path. This card often shows up as someone switches directions in their career or path, and so it is further validation of the cards over the past several weeks. Trust in yourself and your ability to do this. Meditate, connect with Spirit, believe; your dreams are coming true!


At the end of the week, after looking within and taking some time for introspection, you connect with your Truth. This is a beautiful card about balance within yourself, and it reconnects you to the balancing of dualities that showed up at the beginning of the week. In fact, balance creates a bridge in this spread for the awareness that you are experiencing, supporting it and creating safe passage within. This card also reminds you that truth brings you back to the present moment, away from the drama of the past and the anxiety of the future. You simply just ARE in this moment, aware of yourself and trusting in the unfolding of your purpose.  Understanding this grants you authenticity and magic, the perfect potion for moving forward on your path.


Place the Oxygen Mask Over Your own Nose and Mouth First…


As a child, I remember being baffled when during the safety review at the beginning of an airline flight, the flight attendant (stewardess back then, and almost always a stewardess, which is pretty relevant to this topic), would announce that the adult should put the oxygen mask over their nose and mouth first before placing it over their child’s. This wounded me on a deep level; I couldn’t believe that they’d ask my mother to take care of herself before she took care of me, as I perceived that it was the mother’s job to take care of others before herself, always and period.

As I grew and became a young woman, I matured into this role of caretaker, an expression of my bewilderment with the dynamics of the oxygen mask. I believed that it was my job to make sure that everyone around me was okay at all times, regardless of how I was feeling. I needed to be strong, independent, and completely confident, and I needed to be the rock that everyone else could depend on.

This belief extended even to strangers. If someone in line behind me at the grocery store was upset, I was sure it was my fault somehow. I should have offered for him to go before me, or I assumed she was mad because I had so many items.  As you can imagine, this trend was even more evident in my personal relationships, as I felt compelled to ensure that everyone and everything around me was perfect and happy and in place.

When I became a wife and then a mother and then a healer, this tactic – this way of life – backfired on me. It was only a question of time before the complete burnout came and when it did, it was crippling. I was angry, bitter, resentful, and exhausted. My body was breaking down and taking my immune system with it. I was suffering from food sensitivities and intestinal candida as a result. No matter how much I tried to make sure that everyone around me was okay, I felt my life spinning completely out of control. I’d like to say that I had an epiphany early on, but the truth of the matter is that it took years. What I didn’t realize for a long time was that my preoccupation with how everyone else was feeling was just a cover-up that I used to mask how I was feeling because, quite frankly, I did not want to deal with my emotions. Expending my energy trying to assuage the emotions of everyone else kept me nice and distanced from mine.

Unfortunately, I see this in many of my clients too, mostly the women. We are brought up to take care of everyone around us. We are trained to put our needs on the back burner while we feed, clothe, and administer first aid to our families, and we are expected to do so with a smile on our faces. Sure, it’s changing some, but it’s so ingrained in our family dynamics and society as a whole that even though we may find a man that helps us out, we may still feel like it’s our duty to give, give, give beyond what we are capable of sharing.

When this happens, there is a breakdown in our energy system. Our energetic boundaries begin to sort of “bleed” and there is no clear sense of self. The idea of a bleeding heart is reflected in the energetic heart and there is a complete loss of personal power in the solar plexus area. The energy around the throat will be blocked as the person chokes back their emotions and their expression of their authentic self.

Any path to healing has to recognize that reclaiming one’s power and establishing healthy boundaries with respect to self-care is necessary in order to heal and move forward. I have a client that just the other day established a boundary with a loved one for the first time ever. It is an amazing step in her growth, and yet she still struggled with it, wondering if she had done the right thing and worrying that she had hurt someone’s feelings. What we have to recognize is that when we are well-cared for we have more strength, more love, and more power to share with others. When we make sure that our needs are met, we are more able to stand up strongly in order to support ourselves and others. When we are in touch with our emotions and able to clearly express them we are empowered. Being depleted serves no one, least of all ourselves.

Keep this in mind the next time you are wondering if you should just say yes even though you are exhausted and just want some time alone. When it does happen, stop. Take a breath. Remember the fatigue, the anger, and the resentment that sit on the other side of that yes. And then smile and lovingly say, “No.” It may be hard at first; the other person may not understand this new, empowered you, but ultimately they will benefit from your inner strength. You will be doing yourself, and everyone else, a huge favor.

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Weekly Reading July 8-14, 2013: Your Dreams Are Coming True (If You Let Them!)

This week I am using the beautiful and gentle Angel Tarot deck by Doreen Virtue and Radleigh Valentine. I love these cards as much for the sweet yet direct messages as for the phenomenal artwork.

Ace of Fire

This week starts off with a bang. The Ace of Fire card shows us that you can expect an exciting new opportunity to present itself at the beginning of the week. This is something that you’ve been looking forward to for a while. You planted the seeds for this some time back and you have been tending them. Now is the time that they have finally flowered. The fire energy brings with it inspiration and the drive to create something that we feel passionate about and the Universe is letting you know that the time has finally come. There is an element of magic to this as well. Jump in! Follow your dreams!

Nine of Air

After the initial excitement associated with your venture wears off, though, you may begin to doubt yourself. The Suit of Air represents our intellect, and it appears here that at mid-week, your mind is trying to take over what your passion ignited. Nine of Air shows you fretting over the logistics of this new opportunity. Will it work? Am I crazy to think I can do this? What if I don’t succeed? These doubts are fears created by your ego to hold you back. But notice that there are glow worms all around you and these sparks of light and life are there to remind you that your passions can most certainly be brought to life and transformed. There is magic all around you, if only you can remember to see it. As you feel these doubts arise, turn toward the light and check in with yourself. Remember all of the hard work that you’ve done to get here and realign yourself with that feeling of joy that you experienced at the beginning of the week when you felt your dreams come to life. Remember too that you don’t have to take a huge leap of faith; there can be a slow and steady progress towards your dream, but the more faith that you have in yourself and the Divine, the more quickly you will see results. Trust and allow the magic to unfold.

Eight of Earth

With the weekend comes some practical advice to help you get your project off the ground. Perhaps your worry stemmed from a feeling of not being fully prepared. While you have spent some time nurturing this idea, it is possible that you may still have some research or studying to do. Eight of Earth shows us in the magical world of the fairies. The Earth is the realm of manifestation and the fairies are the earth angels that live there. They can help you to manifest your dreams, if only you ask. Here they are showing you that a little studying will go a long way to bring your desires to life and to help you remain centered and grounded in your dreams.